I was born and raised in a small town in south-central Poland. My family was relatively poor, but my parents worked hard and long to improve our status of living, as a result of which I did not receive much attention. Respect for work and effort absolutely stayed with me, but, having learned from observation, I pay a lot of attention to the efficiency and effectiveness of what I do and all the processes around me.

I grew up with a 2-year older brother and in many ways we were different. More than once there were arguments and fights in which he was the physically stronger one, but I made up for it with a sharp tongue - quick thinking, connecting the dots, and choosing words still serves me, although in a much better way.

In this early period of my life, I also formed the belief that I am not the most important, I should think of others, and I will somehow manage, I will adapt, and I can suffer.

 

Although I tried for many years, I was never able to truly fit into any group. I always stood out more and felt really bad about conforming at the expense of my true self. I was more sensitive, reflective - I had a really vibrant life going on inside me, and because of that I was more mature. I observed, reflected, and did not understand the simple behavior of peers, but also adults, especially foolish choices and not caring about others. Although I was also subject to them sometimes, trying to please and fit in.

I felt alone and misunderstood. I felt I didn't fit in and I thought there was something wrong with me. I am not bound by the same rules - what is good for others is rarely for me. At an early age, I began to fall into thinking about psychology and philosophy - the causes, choices, and purpose of life. The liking for using the resources of philosophy and reflection is strong in me.

 

Throughout my school years, I felt betrayed, abandoned, and rejected more than once. Together with the lack of support, this caused me to stop trusting people.

So I didn't open up and increasingly remained alone with my often unsupportive thoughts, while at the same time, I liked to support others - probably because I didn't want them to feel like me. So I was a confidant, but also a counselor and coach. And this did not apply only to those I knew. Even people I had just met online were willing to open up to me and tell me about their emotional, relationship, and family problems and traumas. I was helping and understood that it was working, and at the same time I constantly had the thought that I was different and it didn't apply to me, it wouldn't help me.

 

For lack of a better understanding of myself, my needs, and abilities, for lack of self-confidence and fear, I didn't even try to get into psychology studies. Philosophical studies were even less considered - after all, there are no jobs after that. Instead, I began to study engineering, Energetics - it seemed to provide a chance for a decent job, it was close enough for me to commute every day and for my parents not to have to pay additional costs. In addition, such a job seemed to provide a chance for a job where I wouldn't have to deal with people who seemed mostly difficult to bear at the time. After all, an engineer can focus on observation, analysis, and calculations - I liked that.

Things didn't change much during my studies, but the new environment provided an opportunity to shape myself anew - I enjoyed doing that. I cared more about my boundaries, there were more people with whom I could find a more common language, but I was still an outsider compared to others. I still cared too much about many things - I liked to be on time and prepared, which is not how students behave, I lacked laid-back attitude.

 

After graduation, I was unable to find a job - in retrospect, I can say that I had no idea what I was doing. Eventually, I got a job in my hometown, although not in my profession. However, this was good enough, as I had no ambitions at the time. I was tired of life.

 

20 years of living with a sense of being different, misunderstood, and inner loneliness, many years of pondering the meaning of existence and death, and long years of considering suicide led me to make the attempt. I was in such a state that I finally stopped thinking about the effect it would have on others and did it for myself. In the midst of the act, I realized that if I am able to kill myself, I can do anything, because nothing limits me anymore. So began the process of change.

I experienced several, ineffective in my opinion, sessions with a psychologist and gave up. I didn't believe that they could help me, and the psychologist's passive approach only made me believe that. However, it was the least I could do to make my family feel more assured.

 

Changes in my life were gaining momentum - I started thinking about the future, took more care of my health, started a relationship with a woman I had known for many years, although until then contact had been mainly online. I also soon moved in with her out of my hometown as I found a new job.

I began to focus more and more strongly on my development and increasingly understood that the greatest satisfaction came from developing others. What I took away from my mentality and experience above all was that thinking differently adds value, especially in challenging the status quo, which became my increasingly conscious attribute. This is what I have focused on in my work, being for others and making a difference, especially in people.

 

The desire to experience, grow and change pushed me and my wife to relocate to the Polish capital. As expected, we did not feel at our best there, confined amidst steel and glass and the tension in the air. Along with other factors, including physical and mental health, this convinced us to make another change, and that's how we ended up in Ireland.

Here I felt I could take a full breath and be more myself.

 

Among all the experiences, personal work with diverse people, including toxic or emotionally unaware people, was certainly significant. There have been periods of overworking myself, with no vacation and when only sleep time remained, as well as working despite illness. More than once I faced absolutely unhealthy pressures and expectations. However, all of this is an experience and a lesson that allows me to better understand employees, managers and business owners, because I have always looked at the causes of other people's behavior, trying to understand and encouraging others to do the same. It was this very understanding that gave me yet another edge.

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The effect of the last few years has been my change from being closed-minded, constantly tense and constantly thinking about the mistakes of the past and worrying about the future, to being brave, open-minded, clearly taking care of my needs, with much more joy and efficiency. I am an example even to people who don't know my full story, and I guarantee that people who knew me 10 years ago would not believe that this is me.
I know how big changes can be, I know what it takes to make them, and that's why I can initiate and lead them quickly and efficiently.

 

 

I live in Ireland, with my wife, but I touch and draw from all over the world without feeling restricted in doing so. I plan, develop and share everything I have learned.

Free time for me is all about mental development, above and beyond the basics of taking care of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally.